Get your crap Kris Kringle gifts here!

3 minute read

For the really-not-that-special people in your life: your colleagues.

It’s that time of year again!

You’ve been cornered into buying a present for a colleague but the only thing you really know about them is that they work in the same centre as you.

That’s right, it’s Christmas! And here are some Christmas gift ideas courtesy of The Medical Republic.

1. We’re closed sign

This makes an ideal stocking filler. Simply peel back the sign, stick it on your consulting room door and put your feet up. You’ve earned it!

2. Fake waiting room

Attach the fake waiting room to your normal waiting room, wait until it fills up with festive punters and then hook it up to a truck and drive the lot off into the distance. Problem solved!

3. Pimped-up stethoscope

Swarovski’s medical range also includes a diamond patella hammer, platinum tongue depressor and golden proctoscope. Rectally examine your patients like a boss this Christmas! 

4. Existential crisis room

The existential crisis room can be used whenever you’re facing an overwhelming sense of futility and purposelessness. Typically this occurs whenever you’re at work. The existential crisis room, also known as “La Boite de Nuit”, comes with gin, a glitter-ball and a DJ willing to play Groove is in the heart followed by Corona’s Rhythm of the night and Megablast by Bomb the Bass. Christmas starts here! 

5. Deluxe pathology hamper

Send a better class of Yuletide greetings with the deluxe pathology hamper. The hamper includes a range of swabs, sputum pots, blood tubes and stool culture bottles, all beautifully displayed in a velvet-lined mahogany presentation case. Ideal for the discerning GP who really knows how to investigate. 

6. A trip to a general practice in Manchester

Never complain again. This brief sojourn to the netherworld of an over-worked UK practice will change your outlook forever. A wasteland of drizzle, broken glass, wheelie bins and fire damage, Manchester is just what the doctor ordered! 

7. Wine and chocolates

Nothing says “I couldn’t give less of a shit about you” than a cheap box of chocolates and an even cheaper bottle of wine. Don’t forget to take the good chocolates out first!

8. Resend last year’s gift

In a flash of inspiration you remember about the box of stainless steel cheese knives gathering dust in the kitchen cupboard. Unfortunately, the person unwrapping your gift is the very same colleague who gave them to you last year. Oops!

End of content

No more pages to load

Log In Register ×